Can't be what they expect you to be

A place to snark and vent about CoC doctrine and/or our experiences in the CoC. This is a place for SUPPORT and AGREEMENT only, not a place to tell someone their experience and feelings are wrong, or why we disagree with them.
Lev
Posts: 418
Joined: Sat Oct 11, 2014 7:58 pm

Re: Can't be what they expect you to be

Post by Lev »

LeeLeeLoves wrote:...It's crazy the differences between black and white CoC's and how we believe in the same overall message but how we can let something's slide.
In some of the white, southern COCs that I was a part of, one of the things that was "let slide" quite often was overt racism.

Lev
gladILeft
Posts: 20
Joined: Sun Jun 07, 2015 11:56 am

Re: Can't be what they expect you to be

Post by gladILeft »

The pedigree has to be spotless in some churches by that I mean you must have been raised in the church, not baptized in when your 33, you have to go to a church approved, or run, school, and you have to not cause problems. So standards not being met what are you? Someone that is undesirable for fellowship. The world has a term for this: two-faced
Struggler
Posts: 428
Joined: Sun Oct 12, 2014 10:20 am

Re: Can't be what they expect you to be

Post by Struggler »

gladILeft wrote:The pedigree has to be spotless in some churches by that I mean you must have been raised in the church, not baptized in when your 33, you have to go to a church approved, or run, school, and you have to not cause problems. So standards not being met what are you? Someone that is undesirable for fellowship. The world has a term for this: two-faced
Hell to the yes!

I didn't go to a C of C school, and periodically, C of C'ers I know will go on about how educated they are, and then will make a comment like, "Oh, you didn't go to (insert name of C of C school here)." One woman I know is CONSTANTLY talking about her days at Lipscomb College. She went there one year and then got married. She actually graduated from a community college in something relevant to the work she did for years. And she says she has never donated a penny to Lipscomb. Revealing.

The hidebound C of C'ers have templates in which they expect everyone to fit. They don't deal very well with anyone who doesn't.
Lev
Posts: 418
Joined: Sat Oct 11, 2014 7:58 pm

Re: Can't be what they expect you to be

Post by Lev »

gladILeft wrote:...you must have been raised in the church, not baptized in when your 33...
This may be true in some cases but I've also seen that some of the staunchest defenders of COC-specific doctrine are those that have converted to the COC from other denominations as adults.

Lev
cathym
Posts: 115
Joined: Mon May 11, 2015 2:05 am

Re: Can't be what they expect you to be

Post by cathym »

The worst I've met are ex-gay[1] converts. It's like questioning anything is the same as questioning everything, and that's just way too scary for them, so they have to shout down anyone who disagrees with them.

[1] I've not discussed this extensively with them; it's just something that's been mentioned in passing, so I don't know if the men in question would identify as ex-gay or simply no longer actively involved in same-sex relationships, choosing celibacy instead.
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KLP
Posts: 2757
Joined: Fri Oct 10, 2014 4:47 pm

Re: Can't be what they expect you to be

Post by KLP »

I think the converts and those with questions about some topic can be the most fearful. And therefore they seem to be the most quick to become rabid in attack mode response to a question that tends to boundaries. I found myself a few times where I thought I was talking to what I considered to be a reasonable and learned person and felt comfortable enough to ask the questions that bother me. And man, things just went full volcano immediately. After the 2nd or 3rd time it happened I was able to use this technique to measure a person first. If asking a sincere question causes an explosion then I know the person is not really honest for some reason and is wiling to use power/force to shut down dialogue. They may have value and good points in some other area but I would know to not ever trust that person with my thinking. Just stick to the weather or the local sports teams. And just watch them for the occasional fireworks to confirm my estimation of them.
Isn't the world wonderful...I am all for rational optimism and I am staying positive.
AtPeace
Posts: 209
Joined: Mon Oct 13, 2014 4:52 pm

Re: Can't be what they expect you to be

Post by AtPeace »

KLP, I hear you.

I think the Politically Correct thing that started years ago has completely run amok with the increase in social media. Now, it's very hard to merely state what I think about something without being attacked if it's whatever is out there as THE thing to think about said issue. The older I get, the more tired of get of that. When I have zero interest in persuading someone else to change their thinking about something, why can't I just state what I think as well, without being shunned to some degree?
B.H.
Posts: 4572
Joined: Fri Oct 10, 2014 8:26 pm

Re: Can't be what they expect you to be

Post by B.H. »

went full volcano immediately.
watch out for Xenu.
The philosophers have only interpreted the world, in various ways; the point is to change it.----Karl Marx
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